It’s not like I woke up that morning and I was a different person, in fact…to the contrary I was still the same me…..not necessarily a wiser me…..just an older me.

It’s interesting that other women my age who live a completely different life….for example who are married, have children, etc would be considered more mature or more responsible……and sometimes I would have to agree. Honestly, if I was married and had children I certainly wouldn’t be living the carefree life that I’m living, and I would probably have less friends because I wouldn’t have the same amount of free time to devout to friendships. I also wouldn’t have the time to devout to the politics of friendships because I would have other priorities.

The perception is there, but it doesn’t make me any less responsible or mature. I am who I am…..people are who they are….it is what it is.

Age is relative….it is what you make of it and it’s certainly not a label that I will live my life by.

XO

~Shel C.

I’m approaching a pretty big birthday in my life, and although I have great friends, loving family and a good career….I have never had a decent man in my life…..really never! I have always settled, made excuses for the wrong man, and defended bad behavior from my partner. The one good constant in my life has always been the love and support of my dear friends.

It’s amazing, my friends never cease to amaze me with their kindness, thoughtfulness and ability to just make me feel good. Why can’t I date one of them??? Ok, that was just a joke….but seriously….on a serious note….my friends give me so much and I believe I give back just as much, but why can’t I find a man that can love me 100%, unconditionally, with all my guilty pleasures??? If my friends can see great qualities in me, why can’t a decent man?

I find men, they go over the top trying to impress me, date me for a few weeks… then stop the whole courting thing. Everything slows down….they call me last minute, just want to hang out…what gives? Do they feel like they got me? They don’t have to invest anymore quality time? Is that how they act with their male friends? Is that why men have less friends than woman do?

Statistically speaking, I don’t know if women have more friends than men do, but it does seem that way. Women have sustainable friendships because they are willing to invest time. To this day I still keep in touch with four girls that I have know since first grade, High school friends, college friends and friends that I have met along the way.

It is these friends that make me who I am today. I feel blessed and loved to have them in my life and it’s more than I can say about any man that’s entered my life thus far.

XO

Shel C.

It also made me appreciate and value the importance of senior citizens. I think far too often seniors are overlooked, ignored and taken for granted. So many seniors struggle to survive in today’s economy and adapting to the changing technological times. However these seniors took getting old in stride, in fact they saw it as an opportunity to better themselves, explore the world, and embrace life through music. It seems as if most of these seniors really began living their lives once they joined this group and traveled the world sharing their music.

The documentary was inspring and eye opening making me want to make the most of my life, do the things I’ve always talked about doing. It was a great lesson in life, love and mortality and making the most of every moment you have.
XO
Shel C.
 
 

I’d like to think that you can get what you need, and for the most part I usually can….or a good enough substitute. I have always considered myself to be an eternal optimist….always looking for the bright side of every situation.

For the most part my life has worked out well…..I have fallen into jobs and my career has evolved over the years and I truly enjoy what I do….but it wasn’t what I set out to do. In fact it took a while for things to fall into place career wise. I always wanted to be an actress and when that didn’t work out for me I went back to college, got my degree in TV and radio production and set out to carve my way in the broadcast industry……again that didn’t happen as quickly as I would have liked it to have so I took a detour and landed as an assistant at one of the top rated cable networks. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do but I felt like my finger was close enough to the pulse….and was hopeful that this would lead me to the next best thing.

Again, other detours presented themselves and I went for it. I found myself learning new avenues of the industry that I never thought I would….and actually enjoyed them. So as much as I can say that my life has been by design, it has also been by happenstance and being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people.

Not that my career blossomed overnight, there were many months and even a few years of frustrations and disappointments…..but I always persevered and it has worked out nicely for me.

As far as romance and love, that is one area of my life that I have never been able to wrap my head around…..sure I have fallen in love twice and have been hurt….a lot…..but I just never felt like I had the “be all, end all” relationship. Sure I have managed to get the person that I desired….but it was never sustainable or without heartache, pain and disappointment.

I recently met someone who I have been hanging out with for the past few months and I knew from the get go that it wasn’t a sustainable relationship….I just knew…..but I continued with it because there is no one else in the picture currently and I guess I thought it was what I needed. However, the more time I spend with him and get to know him…..I realize he’s not what I want, or need. He doesn’t give me what I want from a relationship and he doesn’t make me feel great….so therefore he doesn’t even give me what I need.

What I need to do is to move on and continue my search for love. It’s about time I get not only what I want, but what I need as well.

XO

~Shel C.

It seems like change is in the air for me….personally and professionally. Just four months ago I left a job that I have been at for over 3 years, to start a new career at a high profile company. I was excited to dive into my new role and embrace the job and my colleagues. I really didn’t think it was a risk making the move…..but you just never know. Three months into the job, my company merged with another and as a result….I will be out of a job in the next 30 to 60 days.

The worst part of it all is….I really liked my job and the people I worked with. I’ve only been there four months now, but it’s sad….I will really miss everyone that I’ve met. There was a reason I found the job and accepted it; it propelled me to the next level in my career and introduced me to group of people that I now call friends.

It was good that I found and accepted the job, and obviously bad that I’m losing it. It’s also pretty bad in the way that the company is handling the merger, there is a complete lack of information and compassion for their dedicated employees….some of which have give 17 years of their life to the company. I’m a bit indifferent because I have only been there four months….but my heart really goes out to those who have spent their careers building this company.

I’m certain I will land on my feet and find another job, what I’m not certain about is how great the job will be and how I will connect with my new colleagues….

Again everything does happen for a reason….lets just hope this one will be for the good…..or at least for a while.

XO…Shel C.

I’m big on first instincts and impressions. I typically know within the first 5 to 10 minutes if the date is going to be great or not so much. A lot of my friends and family have gotten on my case about not giving someone a second chance, chalking the uncomfortableness of the date on a bad case of nerves. I know what I know. I have been on enough dates to know what’s going to work and what I’m attracted to…..so I typically don’t give someone a second chance. ….well that is until recently.

A few weeks back a younger attractive man reached out to me on-line. I usually don’t respond to someone that is 3 or 4 years younger than me….and he was actually 6 years younger…but I took a chance. To be completely honest, the only men that have been showing me any interest on-line these days have been younger guys….who knew?!

So I wrote back, and we communicated via e-mail a few times before he asked me for my number and if he could call. All had been good so far so I decided to send him my number and wait for his call. He said he’d call on Sunday, and true to his words he did. Trust me….this is a big thing for me….I can’t even begin to tell you how many men have winked, written to me on-line asked me for my number than never called or e-mailed me again. I’d like to say that the fell off the face of the earth but that couldn’t be farther than the truth because I see them on-line every single day…..that’s a whole other story!

Back to the youngin….we had a great conversation, he mentioned he was going out of town for business and pleasure but wanted to know if I’d like to get together when he got back to town. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed our phone conversation and agreed to meet him when he got back into town. Fast forward to the following week and after a few days of phone tag we agreed to meet up on Wednesday night. We both had work engagements until 8:30pm and decided to meet up afterwards. The youngin said he’d call earlier in the day to confirm time and location and we would go from there. Well…that’s when things went from good to bad. He never called during the day or before our after work events….in fact he didn’t even call until 9:07pm that night…..I was beyond furious. My first instinct was to just go home, but stupidly a part of me wanted to still meet him. I was curious and I was interested.

When we did speak he sounded a bit drunk and a bit too casual for a first time meeting. He asked me to come join him at his work event. I asked if he was with friends and he said yes….that’s when I said no thanks….I’m going home. He asked why and I said I think we got off to a bad start and I certainly don’t want our first date to be me, you and your buddies! He realized that it was a rookie move and asked me to meet him at another location. I agreed but the whole way there I regretted not canceling all together. As much as I wanted to meet him, I just felt as if he put absolutely no thought or effort into the night. Seriously, when you meet someone for the first time you really need to put your best foot forward. Well if this was the best he had, I certainly didn’t want to stick around to see what a bad day would be like for him.

So against my best judgement I met him after he made me wait another 15 minutes…..this boy was losing points by the seconds. When he finally got there I let him know exactly how I felt, I thought it was rude to call so late, ask me to join friends and to keep me waiting another 15 minutes. I told him I was 5 minutes away from getting in a cab and leaving. He did apologize and we settled into a seat at the bar. He ordered us both a drink and I took my jacket off….well if I thought the worst was over….he had only scratched the service….he told me he didn’t like my dress. I was like who are you? Who tells a woman that they are meeting for the first time that they don’t like their dress? I asked him if his mother ever taught him the golden rule, if you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say anything at all….clearly he was not taught well, or just didn’t remember. The youngin proceeded to rib and roast me and oddly enough I enjoyed his twisted sense of humor. In fact I was very attracted to him and enjoyed jabbing him as well. That date didn’t last long, just one drink but I knew that as bad as the date started and progressed…..I really wanted to give this guy another shot, a second chance to do things right.

The youngin called 2 days later to say hello, and set up another date. I waited 3 days to return the call, we chatted and set up date number 2. Well I’m happy to say that  I gave this guy a second chance because he did get it right this time. He called me earlier in the day with a location and a time. He was running a few minutes late, but called to tell me so. When he got there I was happy to see him….I told him I wasn’t sure why I gave him a second chance but I’m glad I did, he said he was glad I did as well. The date was good, we hung out for 3 hours and then went our separate ways….but not without a goodnight kiss. It was short, sweet but very nice. He said he talk to me soon, and I certainly hope he sticks to his word.

Bye for now…..XO Shel C.

Personally I feel as if I have evolved and grown in the past few years in certain aspects of my life, but in other areas I just can’t seem to let go and move on. I try to surrender control and just go with the flow….but it doesn’t always work or work as quickly as I would like it to. I have days where I feel like I have moved three steps forward, and the next day I shuffle four steps back. It’s a constant battle and it’s something I’m aware of and work on.

As of lately, I feel like my personal life and professional life are out of my control….as much as I try to control my work situation…it is out of my control. The facts are the company that I work for is not doing well and the are talking about layoffs…..so as hard as I work and want to keep my job….it’s not my choice….it is what it is.

 As for the personal stuff…..again out of my control. I’m open and eager to meet someone….I’m on-line, I get set up and it seems the more I try, the more I fail. I just don’t get it and I don’t know if I ever will. I guess I just want what I want and I’m set in my ways.

I’m hoping with the spring season approaching I’ll continue to evolve, work on me, and maybe….just maybe some things will work out and change for me….a change for the better.

 XO

Shel C.

I recently made it my 2008 resolution to go back on-line and give the whole Match.com another spin. I should have stuck to my 2007 resolution and stayed off. Honestly, all jokes aside I paid $75.00 to feel bad about myself. Seriously, no one that I consider attractive, interesting, or in my age range has even given me a second look.

The first two weeks that I was back up and running I got a whole lot of nothing. It honestly made me feel bad about myself. Don’t get me wrong I was getting looked at, winked at, and even an occasional e-mail but all by men that clearly didn’t read my profile and what I was looking for……if they did read my profile, they disregarded what I wrote and what I was searching for.

The ones who did decide to write crossed the line on so many levels. It’s amazing that people can be so inappropriate to a complete stranger. What is it about the internet that provokes men to write to you and tell you that they would like to rub your toes and see you in a tank top. Seriously………that’s a good way to get blocked. People are out of their minds if they think that’s going to score them points.

I have to admit when I decided to take the Match.com plunge one more time I was honestly optimistic, I had browsed the site for a test spin and saw a lot of decent candidates….however none of those prospects found me enticing. Every time I logged on I saw plenty of men on-line that intrigued me. However what I saw and was interested in, wasn’t looking back at me.

I decided to lay low and not troll the site everyday. Still no luck! I got a few bites, than nothing….it’s just bizarre and unexplainable …with so many men….how can there not be one connection? What are these men looking for??? Perfection, youth, a doormat?? What gives???? There certainly isn’t a lack of quantity, but the quality is just not there.

All I can say is that the odds of seeing men on line are good, but the goods are most definitely odd.

Bye for now….

XO